Tinellis: The year of leather
By: ellis j. still
On Monday, August 1st, 2011, my wife Tina and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary. This year we spent our anniversary close to home, and low key. We had already done an extensive amount of traveling thus far this year, and so we felt like we needed to pace ourselves. Year three of marriage is the gift of leather. I got Tina a new leather case for her IPad 2, and she got me a custom leather golf club cover for my driver. She cooked a ridiculous breakfast (I fell asleep on the couch afterwards) and surprised me with an anniversary dinner of all of my favorite foods (short ribs, mac-n-cheese, blueberry cheesecake, etc.). We spent time at the movies, seeing the new Smurf movie (we spent the entire next few days speaking in Smurf), and Transformers 3 (interesting how they integrated Star Trek with Transformers – “The needs of the many…”). Peanut was his usual unconditional loving self, wanting a lick our faces every time Tina and I kissed, and turning every hug into a group hug. Life cannot possibly get any better than this for Tinellis.
Yet also, this was a time of reflection. We are three years in, and have grown in many ways, both as individuals, and as a unit. There have been many times of laughter, and many times of pain. Many areas of strength and many areas of weakness. Many prayers have been answered, and many prayers that we continue to act in faith on.
I realize that there are many couples out there with stories to tell about how they have maintained their marriages for many more years than we have been married. Yet part of my point is to reiterate the fact that marriage is great. The world tends to paint a picture of marriage as a ball-and-chain mentality, and emphasizes how common divorce is. However marriage can be fun and joyous. Like anything in life, marriage is what you make it. I am having more fun as a married person than I have had my entire life. When Tina and I were dating and considering marriage, we had a conversation early on where we made a deliberate and conscious decision that there will be no divorce, and that we will continue to grow as a family in Christ.
When I think back on the past three years, these are some things that I have learned:
- compromise means that everybody wins
- it is important to maintain a balance between work, love, and play
- keeping God as the head of your marriage is the single most important thing you can do to keep your marriage vibrant and prosperous
- staying active in ministry / church activities is an important way to stay connected for spiritual growth
Question: What are you declaring your marriage to be? How are you and your spouse guarding your relationship against divorce? Any thoughts?
© 2011, Ellis J. Still. All rights reserved.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
____________________________________________________
ellis j. still 
3 comments
Comments feed for this article
August 4, 2011 at 12:24 am
Marissa
Such a beautiful post…even after a recent divorce, I still love the picture (challenges and all) of marriage. That my hope is not discouraged, and my vision not disillusioned, is due to God’s grace, for I was certainly set up to be afraid of marriage again after the breakdown of mine. (While my ex-spouse DID make the declaration, and stood on it, that divorce would not be an option, he neglected to make verbal/physical abuse, deceit, and hostility non-options for himself as well.) Because chose to allow the Lord to heal the things in me, and really to build and refine things in me, I have always been able to keep true joy over others’ marriages (those that display truly self-sacrificial love according to what God would have them do) – and I rejoice all the more now.
I’m content in hearing of others’ beautiful marriages, and in experiencing joys with them. After all, their (and your) stories give great hope, which keeps hearts alive. I’m thankful to the Lord that you honor your marriage so much so that you took the time to write to your readers about it, and were able to express a beautiful picture of it to myself.
August 5, 2011 at 9:22 pm
Tina Still
Hi Marissa, thanks for your kind words. I wanted to share a testimony with you, while it’s not my personal testimony, I have a very personal relationship with this person. A member of my family, whom I’m very close to, lived in an abusive marriage for years. As a child, I saw her bruised and bloody. He wouldn’t do it in private either, sometimes when we were there for visits he would choose then to beat her. He did everything in his power to break her. She had children by him and he made her believe that no one else would want her with all those kids. Fast forward to present day, she found the strength to get away from him and eventually remarried. She’s been happily married for over 20 years. Her husband treats her like a queen. He also had children so they just became the Brady bunch. They are now role models to me and my husband. Their faith in God and their love for each other keeps their light alive. Trust God, He will send you love again.
August 5, 2011 at 9:56 pm
Marissa
Indeed, the Lord will supply my needs and fill me with His love – thank you for thoughtfully sharing that hope-giving testimony , Mrs. Still. I’m definitely grateful to hear that. May you and your family be so blessed~